The Self-Destruct Sequence: French Government Implodes on Launchpad

The French government of Sebastien Lecornu has completed a stunning self-destruct sequence, imploding on the launchpad just as it was preparing for liftoff. The catastrophic failure was triggered by an internal design flaw—a controversial cabinet list—that caused the entire structure to blow apart before it could even begin its mission.
The launch sequence began on Sunday with the public announcement of the cabinet. This was meant to be the moment the government ascended, signaling a new era of stability. However, a critical flaw in its design—the lack of significant change—was immediately apparent to all observers.
This flaw triggered the self-destruct mechanism. The opposition parties immediately sent the abort signal, declaring the mission illegitimate. The political systems designed to support the launch went into reverse, and the government began to shake violently under the pressure of the universal condemnation.
The final implosion occurred on Monday with the Prime Minister’s resignation. This was the moment the fuel tanks ruptured and the entire enterprise was consumed in a political fireball. The government was destroyed on its launchpad, a testament to its flawed design and the hostile environment into which it was launched.
This spectacular launch failure leaves behind a wreckage of political hopes and a cloud of toxic uncertainty. President Macron, as the mission commander, is now left to survey the damage and explain how his flagship project could self-destruct so completely before it ever got off the ground.